Is It Possible to Simplify Christmas?

Bringing joy back into the Christmas season.

Christmas? Magical? It hasn’t always been. One year before a doctor’s appointment, I thought I would go Christmas shopping. The mall had all my classic stressors: crowds, shopping (I dislike shopping intensely), and tons of visual input.

When I got to the doctor’s office, something was terribly wrong. I knew I was having a heart attack.

"No," the doctor told me, “You’re having a panic attack.”

Instead of being upset, relief washed over me. Finally, I had an answer to something I had been experiencing for years.

So, when Christmas and panic attacks go hand-in-hand, it’s easy to understand why this season might not be my favorite, and why I’ve had to learn how to slow down and simplify during this time.

Eliminate What Doesn't Bring Joy

Unfortunately, it took time to understand all the things that caused me stress around the holidays, but I slowly learned what to eliminate. Many years ago, as I was determining how to decrease anxiety, Christmas cards were the first thing to go. The whole Christmas card process did not bring me joy. That’s when I began to think about what brought me joy at Christmas and decided to eliminate what didn’t.

Over the years Christmas decorations had become quite elaborate for us. At one point I had three Christmas trees: the main tree, the kid’s tree, and the Swarovski ornament tree, and I was very meticulous about how the main tree was decorated; hence the need for the kid’s tree. I’m not sure what happened; but one year I said ENOUGH and let my meticulousness go. That brought me great joy because now we decorate one tree together, and we have fun doing it.

The next thing I eliminated were decorations that had no meaning to me. Instead, I put up the decorations I find special. The other decorations can go up, but the person who likes it has to put it up and take it down. It's amazing that no other decorations ever go up! Also, I give myself one week to decorate. If it’s not out in a week, it’s not coming out.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Then came the actual Christmas celebration. Christmas Eve used to be the absolute worse. We would go to the Christmas Eve service at church and go to my grandmother’s house to celebrate with my dad’s side of the family. When the kids were little, that was a nightmare. We tried going to church before dinner with my family then we tried going to church after dinner. No matter how we tried to celebrate Christmas Eve, it was always a busy, harried mess. John and I would collapse into bed Christmas Eve around midnight, knowing that we had an early morning start and a busy Christmas Day. How could this possibly be the most wonderful time of the year?

Look for Ways to Change the Routine

Slowly this madness began to change. First, our church started a Christmas Eve Eve service, AND my dad’s side of the family started gathering the Sunday before Christmas so Christmas Eve took on a whole new feel. Now, we celebrate Christmas Eve by watching The Santa Clause and eating noodles and pie (you need to watch The Santa Clause 2 to understand why we eat noodles and pie). Instead of being the nightmare before Christmas, it’s become a relaxing evening at home.

Christmas Day was always ridiculously busy when the children were younger. We’d get up at the crack of dawn to open presents, have a small breakfast, go to my parent’s house for lunch then go to John’s parents right afterwards for dinner. Many things happened to change that routine and make our Christmas Day much more relaxing and enjoyable. Mostly, the children grew up! Our Christmas Day varies; but for the most part we get to have a relaxing morning then head to John’s family mid afternoon and celebrate with my mom the day after Christmas.

Now, Christmas spans across many days from the Sunday before Christmas to the day after Christmas. Instead of cramming in so much at one time, we’re able to spend time with family, have meaningful conversations, and reflect on what the holiday truly means.

I wish I could go back and tell Deedee of twenty years ago what Deedee of today knows. Eliminate anything that doesn’t bring you or your family joy during the Christmas season, and don’t worry about how the house, the tree, or any of the “trappings” look. Those are truly not important. Oh yeah, and there will always be a Christmas present that’s broken, doesn’t have the right battery, or isn’t the right color. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy being together, laugh, relax, and remember baby Jesus didn’t come in to a perfect setting either.