Forgiveness is Good for the Soul (Part 1)

A few weeks ago, I decided to make a confession. It was something that stirred in my soul so I decided to do it.

Righteous Anger

Before discussing confession, I want to look at anger and forgiveness because those were part of what led to me wanting to make a confession.

Anger is a natural human emotion. Jesus got angry in the temple because people charged exorbitant prices to buy the necessary elements for sacrifice. That’s considered righteous anger, which is God's response to human sin (HarperCollins Bible Dictionary).

Unfortunately, my anger does not fall in that category. It's just plain, old fashioned anger.

Seek God First

If you’ve been reading any of my articles, the number one thing I say to do in any situation is seek God first. That applies to anger as well.

When a situation arises that makes me angry, if my first internal response is to pray about it; usually, my first external response is so much better than it would be if I responded out of my human nature.

Causes of Anger and How to Forgive

Anger arises for many reasons. It might come because someone says something that goes against my character, values, or how I view myself. Someone might do something to me that I don’t feel I deserve - anything from cutting in front of me in traffic to accusing me of doing something I didn’t do. Perhaps I don’t get something I feel like I deserve. It could be something small like a thank you for a job well done to a job I didn’t get that I felt like I deserved.

For the situations where I’m able to explain myself, they usually work themselves out; and I’m able to forgive. Sometimes I just have to let the situation go. Maybe the other person deserved the job more than I did or maybe God was allowing that to happen for a reason I didn’t see. Nonetheless, I have to let it go and hope it worked out for the best.

My anger might be because I misunderstood the other person, I didn't understand the person’s viewpoint, or perhaps he or she has wronged me before so I can’t see past that. I might have an image of who that person was in the past, but the person has changed, and I can’t see her new image. Whatever it is, it’s usually that I’m not seeing the person clearly. If I can step back and see the other person’s viewpoint or present character, I can usually come to forgiveness more quickly.

When someone says something that makes me angry, I try to see what happened from her perspective. Maybe she is really rushed and whatever encounter I had is the “last straw”. Maybe she had a conversation with someone else and is angry from that, but I got the backlash. Maybe she’s stressed and whatever I asked her to do pushed her over her limit. Maybe what I said wasn’t what I meant to say. When I get an angry response from someone, I try to step back and see it from her perspective and what may be happening in her world then it’s easier to forgive.

My consistent prayer is that I see people as God sees them. If I can do that, I can usually look at all the above factors and offer forgiveness more quickly.

Ultimately, harboring anger is more difficult than forgiveness. Anger takes up more emotional energy and more thought than forgiveness does. It takes up emotional space that I usually nurture in some way by continuing to feel hurt or think about the situation. If I can let the situation go and forgive, it’s gone. I can free up that emotional space for joy and peace, which is so much simpler than anger and hurt.

Unfortunately, there are some situations that are harder to forgive. I’ll talk about that type of anger and how forgiveness might be given next week.