Finding My Purpose, So Simple, Right? (Part 2)

My husband, John, came home a few years ago and asked me to help hold him accountable to his purpose, which he had succinctly narrowed down to “help others help themselves.” I was honored he asked me; and at the same time, I was incredibly jealous. How did he get such a succinct purpose? I began wondering if I could ever come up with a purpose like that. 

Determine Where Your Heart and God’s Heart Break

Frederick Buechner, a great writer and theologian, said, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” (Wishful Thinking) I’ve heard it put in a different way. Where does your heart break and God’s heart break? 

Determining where your heart breaks helps determine your purpose because it helps you see what is important to you. When I look at what breaks my heart, it’s another indicator of God’s purpose for me. 

Homelessness breaks my heart. It makes perfect sense as to why that breaks my heart. As a six on the Enneagram, safety and security are top priorities for me. To think that people don’t have the security of a home breaks my heart, and homelessness breaks God’s heart. I’ve also learned that I don’t mind feeding the hungry, organizing a clothes closet, or spending time with women in a homeless shelter, but I prefer to have a relationship with someone who is struggling in that way. 

Your turn: To what do you gravitate? When you see a commercial on TV, what breaks your heart? When you hear news stories, which ones upset you more? When you read about a social issue, which ones tug at your heart strings? There’s a space on the worksheet from the last post to write that down.

Putting it All Together 

Hopefully, you have some lists - your spiritual gifts, your talents, and where your heart and God’s heart break. Remember, those may not be combined to be a career. Your purpose can be lived out in your career, but your purpose is bigger than that and is usually lived out in all of your life. 

A few weeks ago, God gave me a succinct answer for my purpose, which I had been asking about for over three years. It came to me while I was putting the horses up. I don’t know the exact prayer, but I know it was something in a whiny voice, “God,” as I crossed my arms, stomped my foot, and stuck out my bottom lip, “Can you pllleeeaaassseee give me something succinct like John’s?” As one of the horses walked into the barn, it hit me, “Build relationships and companion with others.” 

I stood there shocked. When I came to my senses, I thanked God that in the midst of a selfish, childish prayer, doing my night time chores, he answered clearly. As I look back over my life, whether it’s in my jobs, volunteer work, or places to which I gravitate, it has always been in relationship with others. My purpose has been there all along. I just didn’t see it. 

I’m not promising that for you, but I know that if you pray and ask God to show you connections between your gifts, talents, and where your and God’s heart breaks, he will show you in some way. You will probably have to wait and discern, and it might take three years or more, but “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:14 NLT)

More books to help you determine your purpose:

Henri Nouwen Discernment

Os Guinness. The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life.

Rick Warren. The Purpose Driven Life

Gordon T. Smith. Courage & Calling: Embracing Your God-given Potential.

If you want to learn what the Enneagram is and what your type is:

Your Enneagran Coach