Confession is Good for the Soul

For the last few weeks, I’ve been writing about forgiveness. I began discussing forgiveness because I decided to make a confession while on retreat a month ago. First, let me say we don't HAVE to confess our sins to someone else, but when I DO confess my sins to someone and hear that I am forgiven “in the name of Jesus”, it does something for my soul.

Saying the things that are burdening my soul, both for what I need to be forgiven as well as forgiving others, frees my soul unlike merely praying and asking for forgiveness. There’s something about saying the words aloud that makes them real, perhaps scary; but once they’re said, it gives a release to something bottled up within me.

I’ve done this before with a good friend, and it was equally as unburdening; but this time was a little different for me. I had been talking with someone who mentioned confession and reconciliation being something she does around Easter. She mentioned a book she used and suggested I read it.

The idea began to percolate in my mind and soul. When I went to Green Bough, my silent retreat spot, I brought the book with me and pondered if I would go back around Easter to make a confession.

Once I got to Green Bough, it became glaringly apparent, I needed to do it then. In the last few years, many of my old activities or “jobs” have come to an end. My last major “job” was ending on the day I decided to make my confession.

God has me stepping out on a new path that hasn’t been fully defined yet and maybe will only be defined in hindsight. Nonetheless, letting go of things from the past in order to move forward into the future seemed extremely appropriate for the exact day I was at Green Bough.

Fay, dear Fay, who I’ve written about before was who I chose to hear my confession. She’s a spiritual director and has been to seminary, but she’s not an ordained minister.

There was nothing “magical” about the confession. Fay read from Psalm 32:1-5 then from Isaiah 38:17, which ends, “for you have cast all my sins behind your back.” Being a visual person, I imagined God hearing my confession, holding it in his hands then literally throwing it over his shoulder behind his back. That image alone brought me to tears.

As I read my confession, tears flowed - not out of guilt but out of release. My soul was being unburdened to someone I love and trust. Unfortunately, I can’t remember her exact words or prayer at the end; but when I finished, she made the sign of the cross on my forehead, told me I was forgiven in the name of Jesus then prayed over me.

I went in feeling like I had tentacles around my heart, but I left with my heart feeling free and unrestricted. Confession doesn’t mean I will never sin again, it means that for those sins that were burdening my soul, I’m choosing to turn the other way when I’m tempted again.

Amazingly enough, I was tempted that very night with one of the sins I confessed, no joke, that very night. Luckily, I was able to acknowledge the temptation, tell myself the new way of thinking, let it go, and turn the other way. Those things that were tempting me and burdening me a month ago have much less hold on me. As a matter of fact, I can say in many instances, the temptation is gone.

I wish I had the knowledge or expertise to explain how that happens; but I have a feeling even the most intelligent theologian would say it’s a mystery. Forgiveness and repentance aren’t magical or some secret combination of words that unlock a door to a new way of being. God unlocks the door to the new way of being. I just had to be willing to put the key in the door.